So, the moral police have emerged from the cave they usually seem to lock themselves into and is back in business. What are they up to now, you wonder? Well, the same old thing – ruining Valentine’s Day for couples because they couldn’t find someone to give a damn about their thoroughly unattractive qualities.

According to a trending hashtag on Twitter, it appears that some sant has also decided to jump in and initiated #HappyParentsWorshipDay – a trend which he believes should replace #ValentinesDay because nothing makes sense any more.

Remember when they banned 857 websites? The country was weeping its eyes out. But have you seen the amount of immorality and indecency that have been carved on our walls and printed on our books? The kind of immoral and indecent activities someone has engraved in stone? On our temples! Oh, the woe. Men and women and even animals are shown to engage in such utterly indecent and immoral hobbies. And someone has painted them in our books, written about them in detail, described every act. Such a disaster. Much sorrow.

So we are giving the government a helping hand in covering up all the immoralities and indecencies that can be seen around the country today. Such immoral and indecent behaviour should not be tolerated. People should not be so immoral and indecent. Whoever is carving such statues and painting such paintings should stop immediately. As they say, it is against our “culture” and is a product of “western thought”.

Shame on you.

So, we started with Madhya Pradesh and was shocked to see what had been done. We have adequately saved Indian culture. Not to worry.

Have you seen what has been done at Konark and some of the other temples in the east? Shocking. But we got there just in time.

And even in Maharashtra. How can people behave so immorally and indecently?

And then, we saw what they have put in our books. Oh. My. God.

And this.

We have been busy covering everything up according to Indian culture. It has been a lot of work.

Such horror.

This is what they call art? Disgusting.

What is she even doing in the above painting? Indian culture does not permit women to behave like this. No.

Yes, it has been difficult, but we have been able to save the country from immorality and indecency. Indian culture wins again. Let’s celebrate with a drink quickly before that gets taken away too.