Photographed by: Keegan Crasto

Styled by: Isha Bhansali

The first time I had met Pankaj Tripathi, it was a hot summer afternoon of 2018 at Prtihvi Theatre. Mirzapur was still in talks, Stree had not yet released. But the actor, having already won his first National Award and riding high on the success of Gurgaon, Bareilly Ki Barfi, Newton and Anaarkali of Aarah, was already one of the busiest in Bollywood. He had hopped out of an auto wearing a pair of jeans and a checkered shirt for an interview and shoot, without any entourage. We had a freewheeling conversation over cups of piping hot sulemani chai where he candidly spoke about how the newfound fame was slowly changing things around him. “Earlier the vegetable vendor in my locality would look down upon me, and now even he suggests that I should wear better clothes and comb my hair as I am a film star! So, yes, now he finally knows what I do,” he had chuckled adding: “Paisa aur pyar humesha insaan jitna miley use zyada hi chahta hay. There is no limit to it. Uske chakkar mein parogey to pareshan ho jaoge.”

Cut to 2024. A lot has changed since that day. Pankaj Tripathi is now a household name. He is the man behind some of the most interesting onscreen characters Bollywood has seen in recent times including Rudra (Stree), Anup Saxena (Gunjan Saxena: The Kargil Girl), Sattu Bhaiya (Ludo), Bhanu (Mimi), Kanti Sharan Mudgal (OMG 2), ACP Bhavani Singh (Murder Mubarak), Guruji (Sacred Games), Madhav Mishra (Criminal Justice), and of course the iconic, Akhandanand Tripathi aka Kaleen Bhaiya (Mirzapur). Along the way, he has also picked up another National Award.

Today we are shooting at a Madh Island bungalow with an elaborate crew from both sides. It is pouring outside. The place is buzzing with activity; the excitement is visible as everyone awaits the star to make a grand entrance. And he does. He arrives in a car, albeit an EV (Tata Tiago EV) and not a lux SUV, and now he has a man to hold his umbrella. He is a bonafide celebrity with impeccable credentials. But the man that steps out wearing a simple beige khadi kurta-pajama and green rubber flipflops, sports the same genial smile and oozes the same warmth. There is not a speck of celeb behaviour one usually associates with the stars. He gets into hair and makeup and is ready to roll in just about 30 minutes. And in about two hours, the shoot involving five changes is wrapped. He is a natural in front of the camera, but it is his confidence in his craft that fascinates—he rarely checks the images that are being clicked, let alone fuss over the shots. In fact, it seems the man has put himself in an invisible capsule of eternal zen, unaffected by the trappings of stardom!

But he is not oblivious to those. In fact, it has been a conscious decision. And shifting to Madh Island—a lush, green and serene haven hemmed by the sea—far away from the chaos of the Maximum City also seems to be part of that. “This world, and especially the world of showbiz, throws up enough temptations that can lead you to degrade and pollute yourself or become a very complicated individual. It is very difficult to resist those. You get caught up in unnecessary things.  To keep a physical distance from all these, I have shifted to Madh. I want to get more and more detached from the trappings of this industry. I am not in any kind of race…rat race ka winner bhi rat hi hota hai. Kuchh hasil nahi hoga isse,” he says.  

It is also his love for nature that has prompted this decision. “The beauty of nature purifies my soul; it is my greatest teacher. The vastness of the sea keeps reminding me that I am just a tiny, insignificant part of this universe,” says Pankaj almost echoing Wordworth’s words: “Let nature be your teacher. She has a world of ready wealth, Our minds and hearts to bless...”   

We sit down for the interview on the couch of the petrichor-steeped drawing room of his 12th floor sprawling 11bhk abode that spans across three apartments, each having a stunning view of the sea. He also owns an expansive bungalow inside the same premises where he often indulges in his newfound love for gardening. “The house is big, but I have taken up the smallest room,” he points out, but he has no qualms admitting that when he was staying in a tiny rented one-room kitchen, the dream was to shift to a spacious apartment. “Gautam Buddha was a prince, born into a life of luxury. It is after seeing that side of life that he understood its futility. I think the same is happening to me!”

“Today I can afford the top brands, but I am in this Khadi kurta. I am not in this profession to make money and buy a luxury car or a house or wear expensive brands.  Maybe I started off thinking about all that, but I have passed that stage. I am not saying that money, name, fame should be of zero importance. I am not saying these are bad words. Sant nahi banna hai. But these should not make you arrogant, fill you with pride or hypocrisy, or turn you into a vulgar human being. These should not derail you from your goal, the focus should be the craft, at least it is for me.  I don’t think I should be splurging on expensive brands also because I am an actor in a country where most people live below the poverty line. It is those people who have made me successful. There should be a social concern in whatever I do. Today I am successful, but my life will become meaningful when I can give something back to society at some level,” he says.    

These days the actor rarely gives interviews. Ask him about it and he claims that these days he prefers silence. “I don’t like movie promotions where you end up just repeating the same things. But it is part of the job and these days you are contractually bound to take part in those. I usually stay away from the media glare… there might be a few paparazzi photo but those are always chance encounters. But I have nothing against the people who enjoy the spotlight. It is their choice. As far as I am concerned, I just want to focus on my job of acting. I stay away from PR/marketing. I am not interested in being in the news. I am not dying to tell the world that I have gained or lost weight or I have learned some new skill or how I am prepping for a character. Woh parde pe ayega to dikh jayega.”  

“In fact, this is the first proper interview I have agreed to do after January. It is not like I have become arrogant or rude, I just don’t feel like talking anymore. I used to talk a lot and preach a lot–I am always insightful and inspiring. I think mein itna gyan bantta thha kyunki mere paas gyan ki kami hai. Adhjal gagri chhalkat jaye. The day I become actually knowledgeable, then I will stop talking about… a plant that is green never advertises it thus, it is self-assured about its ‘greenness’. People can see that it is green anyway,” he says pensively.   

But this is a change that has taken place in him over the years. “Even 8-9 years back I really wanted all this, I wanted to be in the spotlight, I wanted my interviews and pictures to be in leading newspapers and magazines. In fact, I came to Bombay to be a successful actor, to become a known face, to earn money…although maza theatre mein zyada aata thha, par usmein paisa bilkul nahi thha. But now things have changed. Maybe it is because I have already got a good share of all that and now, I don’t want more of it,” he admits.

“We actors create a world of fiction; we put our best efforts to convince the audience that what we are creating is real so that they can connect with it. But the problem happens when we the creators of that world, the actors, start believing in it. Kai baar actors khud uss duniya ke bhram mein par jaatey hai,” he adds.  

His pragmatism and humility can often come across as unreal, especially in this time and age. “Mein satyayug ka insaan hun jo kaliyug mein fass gaya hai. I am always honest and truthful—when I am in front of the camera, I try to create an honest portrayal of the character, and off screen I am my real self. But what that real self is can be up for debate. I am still exploring that. Acting is my profession, but for me it is also a medium of self-exploration. Through it I am trying to figure out who I really am. Am I really this humble and pragmatic? Many people say that I am acting to be this person in real life. Toh mujhe bhi shak ho gaya hai, am I acting? Is this all a performance that I am putting up? A few days back I went through a personal tragedy which unnerved me, I really struggled. That made me question if I was then acting to be this calm and composed person all this while. If I am talking nicely to a person even when I am angry at him/her…am I putting up an act or am I controlling my anger. As humans, we can keep a check on the outward projection of our emotions.  

“When I am acting in front of the camera, I don’t face any self-doubt. So, I don’t bother to check the monitor. I have confidence in my shot and then there is the director to correct me if I go a bit off-track somewhere. In my real life, there is no director. There I, Pankaj Tripathi, am the actor as well as the director. So, I must keep judging my performance. The director in me must cut the shot if the performer has a misstep. Life has no retakes. There are only takes. And every take gets stored in the memory card of our minds. So, you can’t go back and make amends, but your mind can stop you from repeating the same.”

Talking to the man makes you feel as if you are listening to some sadhu meditating in the Himalayas—he carries with him a rare aura of peace that seems to emanate from his detachment from this materialistic world. “I know that this is all a charade; I am acutely aware of the fact that this fame and ‘stardom’ won’t last forever. There will be a day when the same people who are applauding me today will forget my name; there won’t be directors and producers flocking around for dates. And I am prepared for that day. When that day comes, I will not feel sad that it’s all slipping away… 

“I think one day I will leave all this and go back to farming. But I don’t know, maybe in a few years I will get bored of that as well, shayad woh bhram bhi toot jaye!” he chortles.

It is this ability to be aloof, to let go, that makes him so different. “I don’t have any friends in the industry, yet I am friendly with everyone. When I am on a film set, the co-actors and the crew become my friend circle, once the movie wraps up and I go to a new set, I create a new friend circle there. I move on. Because life itself is transient. There is no point in getting attached to anything–be it material things or people.” But this last bit seems an overstatement coming from someone who has a 20-year-long rock-solid marriage with the woman he fell in love as a teenager and dated for around 12 years. Mridula Tripathi, looking resplendent in traditional Bengali laal-paar-shada-shari (white sari with red border) is busy taking care of the guests who have arrived for a puja, but one can hear her voice every now and then. “But how does a loving husband and a doting father practice detachment?” I find myself speaking my thoughts out loud. “Udhar toh detachment mushkil hai! Those are organic attachments. You don’t even realise when their roots penetrate your soul and become part of it. A few days back, I was in fact telling her that prem karo, lekin detachment rakho. But it is difficult, but koshish jaari hai! Attachment doesn’t require effort, detachment does,” he smiles. “We have been together for about 30 years now. I was about 17 or 18 when I met her. I had started doing theatre by then but going to Bombay to become an actor was still not the dream or the plan. I keep asking her what she saw in this man then and why she stuck around during those years of struggle! Thankfully she didn’t attempt detachment,” he laughs.   

According to Tripathi, acting, for him, is an opportunity for self-exploration. “If you are enjoying a violent scene, then it is very much possible that you have a violent streak which you have suppressed because you know that society and the law of the land will not permit you to act on those impulses; you are bound by your upbringing that has taught you that such acts are morally and ethically incorrect.” 

What we see of Pankaj Tripathi, both on and off screen, has a lot to do with upbringing. “I had a regular lower middle-class Brahmin family upbringing. My parents were very simple people. My father was a farmer (late Pandit Benares Tiwari), and my mother is a housewife (Hemwanti Tiwari). My mother is a deeply religious person, but she never supported superstitions—she always told us that there is no such thing as ghosts. So, even if now I do movies about those, I know ke yeh sab bhoot/pret kuchh nehi hota hai. She would fast but she never let us or asked us to follow those customs,” he reveals adding that his parents didn’t have any big aspirations, all they wanted was that their children should get a good education and eventually make an honest living. “Honesty was always non-negotiable in our family.”   

That his parents were far more progressive than a regular lower-middleclass family living in a remote Indian village was evident from early on. “They never stopped me from doing things that I wanted. In fact, they never dissuaded me when I did my first play…and I was playing a female character! There used to be an amateur annual play during chhat puja. That year the guy who was supposed to play the main female character didn’t turn up. In those days, especially in villages like ours, it was quite a taboo... the notion was that only those who are effeminate or gay would get up on the stage dressed as a woman and whoever would play such a character would face ridicule the whole year after that. Since no one was willing to fill in for that actor, I stepped in. I had no burning desire to become an actor at that point. I just wanted the play to go on as scheduled. And my parents didn’t have any objections either. Maybe even being from the village, they were progressive and modern without ever claiming to be such. They were not inclined towards art, they were not into literature, they had no exposure to cinema. So, it is not that they processed acting as an art form and hence gave the permission. They just had an open mind, which of course shaped my core, my value system. But many things got added that got added later, which might not have happened if I had stayed in my village,” says Pankaj. According to him, his views on women went through a major upgrade thanks to his exposure to arts and literature. “In our village, women command respect, but they are worshipped as devis—stree is Shakti. It was while doing theatre in Delhi and Patna that she became ‘human’. Art and literature taught me that she commands respect as an individual irrespective of gender. She is neither a devi nor a chudail; she is another human being who deserves equal rights and respect. It was a crucial perspective.” 

He has time and again spoken about his bond with his wife and it being a partnership of equals. He has never let his male ego stop him from acknowledging the fact that during his struggling years, she was the sole breadwinner of the family. He is dad to an 18-year-old and being a girl dad has further impacted his take on women. If we see him playing progressive and supportive dads to daughters on screen, the choice of roles somewhere reflects his personal values and morals.  

“I refrain from doing very toxic or dark characters. I try to find something good if not a redeeming factor even in the negative characters I play. Kaleen Bhaiyya (Mirzapur) is a negative character, but he is soft spoken. It is my interpretation of that character. There will be elements of me in the characters I play. If I was Anup Saxena of Gunjan Saxena: The Kargil Girl, I would be that kind of a father to Gunjan. If I was Narottam Mishra of Bareilly Ki Barfi, I would be that kind of father to Bitti. If I was Kehri Singh of Gurgaon, I would be that kind of father to Nikki and Ragini. Three are markedly different from one another—each has their own social, economic, educational context and behavioural pattern—but each has bit of me as they have all taken shape inside my head, I have imagined each based on the script provided by the writers.” 

“I recently said no to a movie that was on child trafficking…I had some intimate scenes with a young girl. The makers tried to convince me by saying that such things happen in society, and they are making the film to highlight the issue. I understand that, but even as an actor, as part of my job, I will not be able to bring myself to do such a scene involving a child. This limitation as an actor. I know such people exist and it is a reflection of society. But these days the question that keeps cropping up in my head is that what is the purpose of cinema? If we are to show society as it is, then what is the point? Where is the creativity in that? One can read the newspaper for that.”

Sunglasses: Rosvin Bugs

“Also, since my acting is mostly understated, devoid of any loud gesture or posture; I try to feel the character and when you do that, when you feel what your character is feeling and act accordingly, the camera captures the soul.” 

Being such a busy actor, it must be exhausting to ‘feel’ so many characters. Is it even possible after a certain point? Is it a sustainable approach? 

“Nahi, wohi dikkat ho rahi thhi. I had finished shooting Atal in the evening and the very next morning I was at the set of Stree. By lunch time, I realised that it was taking a toll. I was not my 100 per cent. But I am changing that. I have decided to shoot one project at a time, then take a 20/25-day break, and then move on to the next one. Earlier I didn’t have this option. I was grabbing almost every interesting opportunity that came my way. I didn’t even realise when I got this busy. But now I have decided to be more selective.”

But many actors claim that it is a switch-on/switch-off process; playing characters should be treated as any other job… “Yes, that has become the cool thing to say. To reach that switch-on/switch-off phase, you need to first install the switch, do the wiring properly, and connect it with a power source. When you are starting off, you can get away with a switch-on/switch-off process, but as you grow as an actor you realise that it is not a switch-on/switch-off job—yeh kaam thoda itminaan ka hai. Art can’t be rushed.”

Credits

Head of Production: Siddhi Chavan (@randomwonton)
Hair & Makeup: Suresh Mohanty (@suresh_mohanty_makeup_artist)
Assistant Stylist: Ishaani Singhal (@ishani.singhal)
PR: Hardly Anonymous (@hardlyanonymous_2.0)