This year had a fascinating roll call of films tanking at the box office. Here are the ones at the bottom of the barrel.
1 Mohenjodaro
Possibly the year’s biggest disappointment, this film shook our faith in Ashutosh Gowariker as a director. It also showed us the abysmal state of Indian VFX. We hope Pooja Hegde changes her career (poor girl, she must have thought that this would be the debut of a lifetime). And finally, Hrithik Roshan — go back to doing what you do best: dance, look pretty and be shirtless for at least 70 per cent of a film.
2 Kya Kool Hai Hum 3
The fact that we have had three films from this franchise is a shocker. How many times can you keep serving a re-fried version of American Pie? Or, maybe, this is Ekta Kapoor trying to generate employment for her baby brother. Ekta, a word of advice: if a film has Tusshar Kapoor in it, that’s the only reason we need to stay away from it.
3 Ishq Click
If you did hear of this film, you are definitely a film buff — or you are currently unemployed. If you watched it, you need a drink and I’m buying.
4 Azhar
Quite the disappointment, actually. Just when we thought that Emraan Hashmi could do no wrong, he played a ludicrous inning like Azhar. Nothing worked for the film — the sloppy narrative, unnecessary melodrama, factual errors and Nargis Fakhri’s duck lips. It also made Ekta Kapoor decide to give up film production for a while.
5 Teraa Surroor
The film starred Himmesshh Resshhaammiyyaa (I have lost count of the actual number of times each letter appears in his name), and I have no clue how he still finds the money to make films about himself.
6 Mastizaade
My apologies — other people hire Tusshar Kapoor too. Pritish Nandy produced this disaster about twin sisters who run a rehabilitation centre for sex addicts. Vir Das decided to star in it too. The film stars Sunny Leone in a double role. Now you know why it got made and was happily distributed around the country.
7 Ishq Forever
Models need to clearly understand that acting is not the next step in their careers, when modelling assignments start drying up. This film has bad acting of such epic proportions that I walked out 15 minutes into it. Also, the name itself hardly showed any promise.
8 Love Games
This brings me to model acting debut, part two. A typical Vikram Bhatt caper (sex-blood-booze), the film tried to play the come-hither-watch-some-barelyenticing- intimacy-that-you-can-pass-off-as-soft-porn-inyour- deprived-and-wretched-life card, but failed horribly at that too. Never before have people looked this uninterested while having sex. Hashtag Yawn Sambandh.
9 Baar Baar Dekho
No one saw this film twice, even though it had two really hot bods. Also, can you believe Anuvab Pal wrote this pile of horse crap?
10 Shivaay
If you had to go through the agonizing and excruciating torture that Shivaay was, I sympathise. A vanity project almost up there with MSG (the hairy guru-hero did have a release this year, but we are staying away from documentaries in this list), Ajay Devgn needs to re-think his priorities. And films. And scripts. And directors.
