Tinder, like cake, is different things to different people. Some want to just nibble, others want a thick slice, some are wholesomely satisfied by it while someone else is ridden with guilt. And then there are some, like me, who have an erratic binge-and-cringe policy, where I OD on it and then stay away from it altogether – until I OD on it all over again.
While I am on Tinder for some casual cake eating, I have come across Tinder users who derive varied uses from the app. Heck, a dear friend sells furnishings on it. While she might be an anomaly, I decided to talk to men and women – across orientations – to find out what they are looking for on Tinder.
Riddhima Gupta
28, straight but bi-curious Copywriter
“I have my search option open for both men and women. Tinder is like a supermarket situation for me – I can scroll through a catalogue of possibilities and pick whomever I want. There aren’t any apps for women to hook up with women (not that I know of) and Tinder is a cool enough and safe space to explore. Basically, I am just having fun – casual sex. Yes, I have found a connect with a few people over time – I even dated one of them for a while – but I am not necessarily looking for a relationship. If I find someone, cool. If not, I am happy with just a good fuck.”
Vinayak Nagarkar
34, exclusively straight Banking professional
“I think Tinder is a good place to find a partner. Let’s face it: it’s difficult for men to approach women in public spaces. It looks cool in films, but you really can’t just walk up to a woman at the bar and start flirting with her. It doesn’t work that way. On Tinder, you know for sure that she is looking for someone too. I am looking to date, find someone special if possible. I have a very hectic schedule and I barely find enough time to socialise. On top of that, if I am expected to pick up women during my chill-out time, that is too much pressure. This is easier and faster.”
Aadhaar Chopra
29, Bisexual Line producer
“We might say that Tinder is a hook up app, but let’s face it, all of us are looking for that special someone. It’s easier if I want to meet women – I could just walk into a pub, start talking to someone at the bar and all that. If I am in the mood for a man, it’s difficult. How do you approach men in public? I met my current girlfriend on Tinder. We started off with a date and then realised that we would like to take this beyond a random hook up.”
Nikita Vaz
27, exclusively straight Fashion intern
“I know for a fact that I have to marry a guy my folks choose for me. I really don’t have the energy or enthusiasm to fight them on this one, because they are rigid about this stuff. I might as well give in. So, I keep it very clear on Tinder – just hooking up. No dates. No seconds. I don’t want to unnecessarily get involved with someone and complicate things.”
Anand Banerjee
32, exclusively straight Journalist
“I am married. My wife doesn’t know I am on Tinder. I have a separate Facebook profile connected to my Tinder account. I don’t think I am cut out for monogamy, but marriage is something you have to do to pacify your parents. I did that. But Tinder allows me to have my share of fun too. It makes me guilty sometimes, yes, but my marriage is suffocating me.”
Vanessa Pinto
28, exclusively straight Marketing executive
“I am just looking to get married. I make it very clear to the guys I match with. The ones who are game stick around. I am not interested in any hanky-panky. My profile also states that I am “looking for a hubby”. Why not be upfront? I have come across profiles of men that state “only virgins please”. I think I am being way more civil. Having said that, I haven’t found anyone yet.”
Trisha Dutta
30, Lesbian Advertising professional
“I need a platform to meet women because I am not too enthusiastic about hanging out with the “community” as they say. I don’t conform to a lot of what I see in the LGBTQ culture in India and finding like-minded women is quite a task. I am not necessarily looking to date or hook up. I have made friends with people I meet on the app. We have gone out for book readings and films and have just enjoyed conversations. Tinder is like Facebook for me.”
Anita Sood
25, Bisexual News intern
“Tinder is basically a stressbuster for me. My new job’s hectic and I don’t have any time or space in my life for boy drama. But a girl has needs. After a long work day, a few swipes and voila – a good fuck. That’s all I care about. I don’t even chat much. Generally, after a match, it’s just a ‘wanna come over now?’”
Arunesh Singh
27, Gay Theatre professional
“Two words: Prince Charming. That’s all I am waiting for. I make it very clear that I am not looking for random hook ups. Also, Tinder is classier. Grindr is just filled with escorts and drug addicts.”
Pradeep Dutta
35, exclusively straight Chef
“It’s a guilty pleasure, actually. I am not very good at talking to women, but it is much easier to chat with them. Impressing someone in person is not my thing. I would really like to date though, but if it’s just a casual fuck, that’s cool too. I am open to all possibilities. There a few people I have hooked up with more than once, but when I tried to make it a tad more serious, they turned me down.”
Alex Noronha
31, straight but bi-curious Advertising professional
“I think Tinder is a shopping cart. Let’s be honest: if you are on Tinder, you want to hook up. Yes, you might want to date the person you just had sex with because you found a connection or whatever, but let’s not kid ourselves into thinking that Tinder is some matrimony app. As human beings we might be wired to crave company, but no one goes to Tinder for that. At least I don’t. I haven’t dated anyone I met on Tinder. I don’t think I was looking to.”