The male ego is a more complicated creature than the Apollo spacecraft; I’m pretty sure that men went to space because someone’s ego was bruised and he was out for revenge. What makes it more twisted is its horcrux-like ability to be stuffed in bits and pieces in the collective male consciousness, and forever kept alive — throbbing and easily offended. Thus, men are sensitive about their height, the breadth of their chest, the length of their penises, the width of their wallets, the quality of their eyesight, the price of their cars and the age of their wives.

Oh, and hair — the blackness of it,its length, volume, thickness, style and cut; men have an almost Samson-esque insecurity that their strength, prowess and potency lie in the presence of their hair. This is baseless, because bald men can be both strong and handsome if they take care of themselves, watch what they eat and groom themselves — the same rules of living a good life that apply to everybody else, in other words. Why, then, does a portly, middle-aged man with beer -breath get to poke fun at his bald friend, who is well-groomed, well-travelled and can count all of his abdominal muscles?

Balding is always equated with ageing, and youth is the biggest concern of any man on the other side of 35. Heck, these days there are antiwrinkle cream ads that tell you that your skin starts dying at 21. So, young men who are not old enough to drink alcohol in some states in this country are expected to start worrying about this. And, true to nature, men have tried everything they can to turn back the clock. After creams, Botox and face lifts, you even have make up options for men these days, which is a confusing double-edged sword for the male ego — you are touchy about looking old, but you are fine wearing make up? And, even for hair, you have plugs and grafts and grains and what-not, but let’s face it, for many men, balding sets in earlier than usual. There’s genetics involved, an experimental college life or just hard water — sometimes, balding has nothing to do with age.

A bald pate is not the end of the road for you or for your sex appeal. Firstly, invest in a healthy grooming ritual. Take care of your skin and watch what you eat. Find the time to work out and stay in shape. Dress better, smell better. Like age, balding is a state of mind. Hair does not give you confidence – your faith in yourself makes that magic happen.

Since you might not trust me on this one, here are a few women talking about the sexiest bald men, and what about these men is a turn on.

Zinedine Zidane

His strength and confidence on the field, his sheer power and dominating personality. Who cares if he has hair or not? I know he will be a beast in the sack.

 

Ashmita Desai, copywriter

Mark Strong

His voice is orgasm-inducing. He always dresses impeccably, and has such a magnetic personality. And I like that he is bald. I feel that hair would just take away from his strong, hard, impenetrable appearance. Ashwini Iyer, artist

Bruce Willis

That brooding exterior is such a turn on. To top that, he is also funny and is such a talented actor. He also has a next-door neighbour vibe, which makes him relatable and approachable.

 

Mona Chowdhury PR professional

Dwayne Johnson

He dresses well, he is humble and he is warm and affectionate with people. I don’t even care about his body. His journey is such an inspiration, and his smile is so genuine. He is a selfmade man, and that’s what matters. Ananya Sen, journalist

Jason Statham

He is sexy, has a fantastic body, a dry sense of humour and is a very intelligent man. I also like that he is not a gym rat, but instead has spent years training in martial arts. That shows dedication.

 

Nidhi Varkey, Marketing professional

Grooming tips for balding men

 

• Don’t compensate for volume with length. A forced combover is just lame. If you look like a balding banshee in the wind, all that length is not helping. Trim it short.

 

• Know the right products to use. Just a “gel” doesn’t work any more. Use a densifier or a clay to add volume, which is more important than height.

 

• If the donut is your balding pattern, trim it down to a buzz. The donut is avuncular; the buzz is cooler and makes you look sharp.

 

• A bald head paired with well-groomed face fuzz is hot hipster material. Grow a beard, and if you are feeling adventurous, nurture a handlebar.

 

• While dressing yourself, colour block intelligently (light tops paired with darker bottoms) and use vertical stripes to avoid looking short.