You’re probably doing it wrong
One of my earliest memories of getting back on the app is of confusion and feeling lost. Naturally as one would, I then for the next few months, lifted bios and jokes from r/pickup lines to no avail. A friend who stumbled on my profile once remarked, “Your jokes look stolen and nothing on your profile tells me anything about you.” That’s when the realisation hit, I can’t half-ass this.
To save my fellow brethren from a similar time-wasting tactic, I spoke to Samarpita Samaddar, India Communications Director, Bumble, on the dos and don’ts of the app.
Are there specific dos and don’ts when it comes to bios?
Samarpita Samaddar: Complete your profile thoroughly, especially your bio—skip clichés and be genuine. Highlight unique aspects like being a wildlife enthusiast, a karaoke star, or your passion for visiting cricket stadiums. If you’re stuck, ask a question to spark conversation! Crafting a concise yet fun bio can work wonders, showing your authenticity and giving matches a glimpse into your personality and hobbies. It’s an easy way for potential matches to get to know you better.
Does using cultural or TV show references, such as ‘The Office,’ work?
SS: Pop culture plays a huge role in shaping their dating choices and preferences, especially for GenZ in India. Per Bumble’s recent survey, 29 per cent of Indian GenZ respondents are looking for someone who cares about pop culture (movies, music, art, literature, etc.) when it comes to dating. So why not let your preferences reflect in your Bumble profile? You could include a line about what you’re watching currently, or add a fun reference to a pop culture phenomenon. It can help spark a conversation and your connection can get an insight into your interests.
What common mistakes do men tend to make when creating their dating profiles?
SS: Don’t write a profile bio that leads with negativity or a profile that doesn’t reflect your authentic self. I can understand that you haven’t found the one you’re looking for yet, but do you want to be bitter when starting a new connection? Instead, focus on the positive and highlight what you want, rather than what you don’t want. For example, instead of saying “not here for hookups” you could perhaps say “looking for a relationship” or “looking to explore new connections” and see how this positive twist results in more matches and some interesting conversations!
What types of photos tend to attract more attention?
SS: Your first photo should be just you as that’s mostly the first thing people will see on your profile. A few group photos with friends are great to include as well. Use your photos as a way to express information about yourself – if you love travelling, include some photos from your trips, or if you love cooking, include some photos of you in the kitchen or at your favourite restaurant. All of this being said, the most important thing is not to spend a lot of time stressing over what photos to choose, pick a recent good photo. Make it your best. We’ve found that showing off your smile, your eyes (without sunglasses), and your whole face (without a filter) is best practice.
How should you initiate a conversation on dating apps?
SS: One of the best places to look for inspiration is their profile. Is there a photo that caught your eye? Did one of their Profile Prompts make you laugh out loud? Did they go to the same college as you? Letting your match talk about themselves, in the beginning, can help put them at ease and get the conversation flowing.
Here are some of the most exciting convo starters to get the chat going, pick any that feels right for your connection!
- What’s the best first move you’ve seen on Bumble? Looking for ideas…
- Speed round: Two truths and a lie. Go!
- Hi! The photo of you … is so fun! Tell me more about that day or is there a story behind it?
- Hi! What’s the highlight of your week so far?
If a profile isn’t giving you much to work with, try asking a direct question. It can be for their advice, opinion, or to gauge their sense of humour. Here are some questions to try:
- If you could choose a name for yourself other than your own, what would it be?
- Choose your own adventure, opening line edition. Would you like a) a joke, b) a would-you-rather or c) a fun fact?
- Extremely important question: sweet or savoury?
- What are you most passionate about and why?
Are there any specific changes you can make to get more views/visibility?
SS: Verify your profile and be real and authentic. Give specific examples or anecdotes to set yourself apart from other daters. If you like to cook, what’s your favourite dish to make? Where can you be found on a Sunday afternoon? If you have a dog, what’s their name? Work these details in your conversations or even on your profile to create a more colourful narrative of what you’re actually like. Give very specific answers to prompts. It helps communicate what you value most in a person or what passions you have!
Be clear about your dating intentions. Be transparent about what you’re looking for in a partner, even if that means you don’t know yet. If you are looking to date someone who exercises as much as you do or someone who might also not want kids, you can set advanced filters on Bumble for these to increase your chances of finding someone whose values align with yours.
What are some ways that men can avoid or cope with experiencing ghosting?
SS: A quick, kind and simple text can help to say that you’re not interested in a graceful and mature way that will leave the both of you with closure and minimal hurt feelings. If you have experienced ghosting and it has impacted your confidence or made you feel disheartened, know that it probably has little to do with you and that most likely your connection has poor communication skills. Move on knowing that they weren’t right for you – there are plenty more people on Bumble who would love the chance to get to know you.
