I bought my first fitness band in 2017 and what followed was never-ending anxiety about completing my fitness tasks that I had set for myself. I would walk inside the house in panic on days when my step count fell short of the goal or when I couldn’t step out for my routine walk due to bad weather. The fitness band became the nucleus of my existence–from calories I burnt in a day to the hours I slept and the kind of sleep I got, I used to track every single detail till it counterproductive. The anxiety of getting quality sleep kept me awake at night and the inability to hit the daily calorie goal made me skip meals. This unhealthy routine went on till I decided to let go off the band to realise what fitness really means to me without tracking apps and devices. A few therapy sessions and a supportive fitness coach made a difference; I do own the latest fitness watch today but my relationship with health and wellness has now healthily evolved. However, hasn’t this fitness culture become a bane of our lives? 

Wellness, today, means prioritising your health and being on top of your fitness, which sounds ideal in theory. In reality, as the industry is booming with advancement in technology and increase in the number of health apps, it is leaving people worried sick about doing it perfectly. How many calories did I burn today, what’s my step count, how’s my heart health, did I get sound sleep last night, we’re continuously worried about these questions making health and wellness a project that requires continuous work. “I don’t suggest tracking devices to everybody. The role of any such device is to enhance and elevate the experience rather than creating roadblocks. If you are not the one who can handle this data, it’s only going to make you anxious,” says Sohrab Khushrushahi, founder of Sohfit. Supporting Khushrushahi, Sonali Gupta, practising psychotherapist and author, says, “It's common for clients to mention how they are constantly hypervigilant, anxious, repeatedly checking their watch for heart rate, obsessing and pushing themselves around the daily step count even if they have had a difficult long day, so not even allowing themselves to rest.” 

Add social media to the mix and you have a perfect recipe for health anxiety crises. Looking at videos and ideal-looking routines on social media makes you want to achieve things that might not be good for your fitness level or body type. “What really makes a difference is social media where everything is amplified and appears bigger than it is,” Khushrushahi adds. Fitness influencer videos like ‘what I eat in a day’, ‘four-week weight loss challenge’, ‘my fitness routine’, have an impact on our brain making us doubt if we are doing enough. “What has become evident due to social media is that a lens of personal fitness and health takes on a performative shape, which becomes reflective or an attempt at creating a social image and lifestyle,” explains Gupta who suggests being mindful of how the social media gaze is impacting our narratives of fitness. There was a time when I would beat myself if I couldn’t stick to a proper diet routine that I had planned for myself. The guilt of eating a few extra calories on a rare day would leave me feeling disappointed and sad trying to overcompensate the next day.  

“I remember a client woke up feeling restful, though her watch indicated that the quality of sleep was not good. She spent the next few days worrying and which in turn led to her sleep quality deteriorating more,” mentions Gupta. The instance points towards the vicious circle–it makes you worried about your overall health to sell you quick solutions and if you fail to comply with those, it leaves you feeling anxious and worried again. Social media also puts pressure to look a certain way at the gym or fitness centre. The first time I spoke to my trainer for personal coaching, she strongly suggested keeping away from the phone to document my everyday progress. ‘The moment your attention turns to the camera, you’re bound to go wrong with your posture and form,’ I remember her words clearly. Since then, I consider my time at the gym or yoga centre as digital detox. “The focus on health and fitness is good, and it's important to work towards it.  However, in the last few years, there has definitely been an increase in cyberchondria and then digital health anxiety,” says Gupta. However, on the other hand, Khushrushahi believes that it’s all about how one handles technology. “It’s not bad, it’s about how you use it,” he says.  

Where do we stop? 

While it’s not irrational to worry about your health and overall fitness, it’s important to know where to stop. One must be able to point out anxious thought patterns and what triggers it. Be mindful about who you follow for fitness inspiration and information. One click can give you access to varied information, mostly from inauthentic sources, which can lead to anxious thinking patterns about your health and body that otherwise you don’t think about often. Find one credible source, a fitness coach, a nutritionist, or professional trainer, who can devise a training and diet chart according to your daily needs and body type. However, the idea is to not beat yourself by sticking to the routine. “When it comes to health or using technology for health, do it for the right reason. Trust the process and don’t take it too seriously,” says Khushrushahi.  

When it comes to advanced fitness trackers and health apps, the question is, ‘can we know too much that leaves us worried sick?’ The answer is yes! Health anxiety can leave a healthy body worried about not doing enough. Health and overall wellness are not just about how you look, but also about how your mind and soul feel, and none of it works in isolation. Wellness is a way of life; it cannot become a reason to optimise life. If an occasional night out or a bowl of ice cream makes you feel happy along with a good session at the gym and eating healthy, there’s no reason to deprive yourself of the former. The idea is to balance it out.